Keep It Simple Stupid
When I first imagined living in Paris, I had all these ideas of what I would do with my free time; write music, maybe explore other artistic outlets, visit museums, fill up my time with things I didn't have time to do in NYC. I started planning my days before I even arrived. But when I finally arrived, I fell into a state of nothingness. What I found I needed most was just to stop and decompress. Stopping in New York is NOT an option. If you stop, you risk getting run over OR, worse, falling apart. But, my life had turned into one of those big rubber band balls; a collection of complications (i.e. clothes, beauty products, disappointments, bills, accessories, jobs, heartbreaks, metro cards, gym memberships, lovers, etc…) and it was time try to delicately unravel it.
Jump back exactly a year ago; I was in a rush to move out of my apartment and into storage. I had accumulated so much junk that my father had to fly up and help me sort through it all. Imagine MY FATHER helping me sort through nearly 6 years of my New York Life! He got a bit more than he bargained for when searching through some of my drawers. I think he is still recovering from the trauma. But, thanks to him, I tossed out about 20 bags of crap and donated another 15 bags to charity. Still, I had enough stuff to fill my storage unit to the top. (Oh, how I dread sorting through that mess!) My move to Paris just a couple of weeks later was fraught with anxiety of what to bring and what to leave behind. In the end, I lugged some serious baggage to Paris both literally and figuratively. It didn't take long for me to realize I wasn't done sorting through the junk, and Paris was the perfect place to do it.
I wish I could say that I was able to empty my bags with care and grace, but I do have a tendency of taking forever to unpack. However, sorting through the past and making changes is never easy, and it took nearly the entire year in Paris to finally clear the layers debris; i.e. old flames still barely burning that I finally blew out, realizations that I nearly became everything I never wanted to be (desensitized, bitter & hard), “frienemies” that needed to be tossed out, latent issues to get over, wounds to mend, etc... Slowly, with each piece of luggage I emptied and each piece of junk I threw out, I started to feel different, lighter like I could breath again.
In Paris, my life was immediately stripped down to the 4 basics; food, family, friends and freedom. In my “nothingness” time, I realized how enjoyable the basics can be. Too many layers of complications covered the good stuff, the simple things. Even the strongest of personalities and most self-aware person would eventually crack in the life I was leading while in New York. I hadn't realized how much I'd been affected by it all or how much I was loosing sight of myself amongst all the stress, drama and unnecessary junk. It took leaving to really get a clearer picture. I definitely had some incredible moments in New York. I met amazing people, seriously sewed my wild oats and tasted life as only a New York City girl can. However, in the end, it all got to complicated to enjoy. I used to think simple = boring, but life can still be fun and exciting without all the BS. Truth is, I’m really a simple girl at heart. Now, I realize life is so much more pleasant when you take a moment to just slow down. You can actually contemplate what makes you happy. My perception of what I want and need in my life have completely changed. Now, life without complications is a welcome breath of fresh air.
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