One of "those girls"

One of Those Girls

After spending Sunday afternoon with girl friends at Great Jones Spa Water Lounge celebrating my pre-birthday, I rushed to the airport for my Paris departure. The cab driver had a broken trunk latch, so we made a quick stop at to get it fixed. I had luggage big enough to pack a person & had to sit one of my pieces in the front passenger seat. Check in at the airport was the most stressful ever with 4 pieces of luggage & a guitar. The plane ride was easy and smooth, but I felt rather anxious. All I kept thinking about was the question asked repeatedly over the past weeks by EVERYONE, “Aren’t you excited?” I would smile and say, “YES! Just a little overwhelmed “, but what I was really thinking was “NO! I’m terrified!” I’m terrified of the unknown. I’m a planner and here I am moving to Paris to be with my boy-friend while he finishes his school year. I’m leaving a well-paying, reliable job in a global recession. I don’t speak the language, know the customs nor have a work visa. But it is Paris with the man I love…

Still, I had butterflies in my stomach. I hadn’t seen him in almost 3 months…3 very loooong months. I made a decision 6 months prior on my last trip to Paris that I needed to live with him in Paris to understand him better. Not to mention, we are happiest away from my crazy New York City life. My life in New York is busy, exciting, and I’m constantly surrounded by the familiar with friends all around to support me. I’m a bartender (well a glorified bar manager) in a successful SoHo restaurant. I have friends and customers who come to visit everyday. I’m a musician. I have a great band that took me two years to put together as well as a loyal fan following. I’ve networked my way in with other songwriters and producers. Yet, that all seems empty when you are without the one you really love in a city like this.

I never thought I would be one of “those girls”. You know the one’s that leave everything behind for a man?! But I guess living in NYC for 5 years makes you cynical but also incredibly appreciative of the good things in life, like good food, a nice apartment and a good man. Men are easy to come by in the city, but good men are few and far between. There are the one’s you think are good: “Married Guy” who takes his ring off and seems so mature & together, but really he is a struggling actor who is going through a mid-life crisis and can’t deal with his wounded ego. “Sweet, Sexy Smile Guy” who takes you on a hot taxi ride instead of bringing you home because he has a live in girl-friend he forgot to tell you about. The “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing Guy” who says he’s “not like all the other New York men” it’s just that he’s still broken hearted from his last break up & doesn’t want a relationship right now. Meanwhile, he only wants to see you on weekday nights. Oh! And your long-term boy-friend who travels on a business trip to China and thinks he can hide his war wounds from drunken night indiscretion with a local. Then there are the not so good guys who still seem oh-so-appealing like; “Mr. Hedge-Fund,” way to young for the amount of disposable income he incurs but oh-so-charming and mystifying. He takes you to the nicest restaurants and lounges, buys you expensive perfumes & treats you like a lady, but bores of you when you try to define the relationship. Then there is “Captain America” divorcee with a sparkling personality and seems oddly sexy when you find out he has a son he adores. Meanwhile he has more baggage than you can carry and secretly hasn’t broken it off with the fatale attraction mistress who ended his marriage. And then there is the “Mr. Big”, the guy that faithfully appears in and out of your life throughout love’s heartbreaks and disappointments. The friend with benefits that you always wonder what could be if only he could commit. You have the comfort of two people who known each other for years. But the dream of happily ever after fades just as quickly as soon as you realize why it will never work; the timing will never be right, you want more than he could ever give and he is better at friendship than he is at a romantic relationship. (period!)

After finally giving up on truly finding a good man a crazy, sexy Frenchman walks into my life…well into my restaurant to be exact. And what I thought was just going to be a hot one-night-stand, turns into possibly the love of my life. That’s a whole other story, but let’s just say that it took going through all these other types of men for me to appreciate meeting a good one; the guy worth taking a chance on and packing up my life in NYC to move to Paris.

I get off the plane dazed and disheveled from a 7 hour plane ride. I immediately see Joe amongst all the other people waiting for passengers. Suddenly all my anxiety seems far away and I realize I am one of "those girls", and I'm okay with that…